This wisdom comes from very recent experience. While I was not getting any sleep last night it occurred to me that when daylight came it would be Monday and I could share it with you as my second installment of Mommy Tip Monday.
Overnight stays with a baby pose special challenges. Here is what you should do:
- Put everything you own in a minivan.
- Put the baby, and any other participating family members in the minivan.
- Drive to location that is too far to drive home from in one day.
- Take everything you own out of the minivan.
- Simultaneously take baby out of the minivan.
- Reintroduce him to the people who live too far away to see on a regular basis.
- Hope he does not cry when they hold him so you can organize your belongings.
- Take baby back from disappointed grandparents.
- Put him on a blanket while you quickly move belongings out of common areas.
- Feed the baby.
- Visit and eat a meal while holding the baby.
- Arrange bedding and put older child to bed while baby cries in exhausted frustration at not being constantly held.
- Nurse baby for five minutes until he falls alseep.
- Put baby down and unwind for 45 minutes or so.
- Turn out the light.
- Immediately nurse the baby.
- Put the baby down.
- Spend half an hour trying to fall asleep.
- Nurse the baby.
- Spend 45 minutes sleeping.
- Nurse the baby.
- Repeat steps 20 and 21 until 4:20 a.m. when the baby wakes up and smiles at you.
- Ignore all of the images floating through your brain.
- Get baby back to sleep.
- When daylight comes find caffeine.
- Continue infant/grandparent reintroduction program.
- Repeat steps 10-26 as needed until it's time to return home.
- Put everything you own back in the minivan.
- Drive back home.
- Take everything you own out of the minivan.
- Deposit it in random locations in your home.
- Repeat steps 13-19.
- Sleep until you hear the baby crying or the neighbors knock on the door to complain about the noise.
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