Getting Kids to Eat Vegetables Or "How My Son Became a Tomato"

This post was originally written last May and posted on my other blog.   I just saw another blog post about the topic the other day though, and it made me think of this.  Lenny is, naturally a little older now and might not actually have a meltdown over being prevented from eating tomatoes.  Maybe.

I was just reading an article online about how to influence your child toward good eating habits.  Most of the tips involved actually exposing children to a variety of good quality produce.  At that exact moment Lenny was eating cherry tomatoes and a tortilla with ham and veggie cream cheese for lunch.  Mostly the tomatoes, though.  The container I bought new yesterday now has three tomatoes in it.  Half the tortilla was gone.  Finally I told him he couldn't eat any more tomatoes.  I snapped the container shut and put it in the fridge.  By the time I got back he was crying uncontrollably.  I explained that if he just eats fruits and veggies and doesn't eat other food he won't grow up to be big and strong.

It's not that he doesn't enjoy some junk food as much as the next kid.  Chocolate ice cream and pizza are at the top of his list.  But last summer when we were getting lots of amazing veggies from our "Community Supported Agriculture" farm he would rate food on whether or not it was "better than pizza."  Potato soup - with a variety of additions or just onions, potatoes, milk and salt - was high on his list. Pretty high on mine too because it was easy and used up some produce we had tons of most of the time.

Today he was upset because it was cloudy.  I told him that I don't have control over that and he said he wished I was God.  He said then I could make it so that he could have chocolate ice cream and go in the pool every day.  I didn't go into the theology behind that one.  Sometimes you really just have to let an idea ride.

Another idea in the article was to eat healthy as a parent.  I have been accused of being a healthy eater, but I think that it's more a case of being acutely aware of how food affects how I feel and eating accordingly.  When I really started having trouble with fatigue a doctor suggested I do an elimination diet and as a result I stopped eating wheat, corn, soy, non-organic eggs, most nuts and some other odds and ends I'm probably forgetting.  I stick to these "restrictions" pretty religiously because I hate to have migraines and some of the other symptoms that eating the foods above give me.  I also avoid most red meat because I don't like the cramps I get if I eat them.  So I cook a lot of foods from scratch and eat a lot of foods found in the the "health food" section. 

We had tons of "greens" last summer.  I like them best cooked and put them in soups and stews as well as sauteing them with onions.  It got to the point that when we had a meal without them Lenny asked "Where's the green stuff?"

My avoidance of wheat does not translate to a gluten allergy or intollerance.  I sometimes make my own home-made pizza, but since I don't eat yeast the crust doesn't really compare with store bought.  Lenny didn't like it as well as the frozen kind.  I haven't made it for a while as a result.  He recently suggested I try it again since his tastes might have changed.

Beats were another big winner from the CSA.  Actually they've been popular every year that Lenny was eating solid food.  I think if you look back you will find pictures on the blog of him covered in them.  Thankfully now he can eat them without so much mess, but last summer it was till wise to remove clothing that wasn't purple or dark colored.

So to make it a little more general, I would suggest the following:

• Eat food you love - hopefully with veggies included.  We love curry.  Easy way to sell all kinds of veggies.  Stir fry, soups and stews, even tossing them into a creamy pasta dish are other ways of including veggies in foods you love.
• Have the best quality produce you can afford.  Doing a CSA means that we have tons of great quality stuff in the summer.  But in winter we use frozen cooked veggies and bagged salad.  We do what we can afford and what works.
• Serve raw veggies salad bar style.  That way everyone can pick the ones they like best and those who live in mortal fear of foods touching each other don't get stressed out.
• Foods not touching is a stage.  Most people outgrow it.  I don't think it's worth fighting.  We didn't get any of those handy plates with dividers, we just pulled out multiple small plates to make sure foods didn't contaminate each other.
• Don't worry about making every meal a nutritional powerhouse.  Personally, I just don't sweat it if supper one night is just frozen pizza.  Chances are there was salad at lunch or will be apple sauce for snack.  
• At our house everyone has to at least try everything at a meal.  But if I know that something isn't a big hit I will take it off rotation for a while.  Food that is too spicy is an exception.
• But don't give up on a food just because it didn't go over well the first time.  Tastes do change and sometimes it just takes a while to get used to something.
• Get kids involved.  I know.  Sometimes easier said than done.  Lenny loves to help wash greens.  He's always up for helping with baking.  And if he doesn't get to help set the table he feels he's been cheated.  
• Always remember:  different people like different things.  Some kids will be harder to teach good eating habits than others.  Some are more sensitive to texture or strong flavor.  Food is just another area where we do the best we can and try not to beat ourselves up when it doesn't look like some pie-in-the-sky ideal.

How to Bless a Mom with Chronic Illness: Practical Matters

Cooking with Grammy.  If we lived closer Lenny would do this often!

 I shared how being a good listener can be a blessing to a mom with chronic illness (MWCI).  Now I'll give some ideas about practical ways you can help a friend.  This will vary significantly, so this is just the time when being a good listener is important.  Sometimes when people offer to help I feel hesitant to tell them that their first idea or instinct will not work in my specific situation.  So keeping the channels of communication open can be doubly important in helping MWCI.

Just about every MWCI can use practical help at some point.  Most of my ideas fall into categories that could be helpful to any tired mom, but with a few modifications.

Food

 Just about every MWCI I've ever encountered had some kind of special diet requirement.  Most people, after feeling bad for a while and not getting lots of answers from doctors start to explore how the food might be affecting her.  Gluten free, dairy free, low carb, avoiding certain foods because of sensitivities... I'm sure there are other possibilities.  I personally have a pretty long list of common foods I can't/don't eat.  So people who have helped me with food have had to take a creative approach.  Here are a few options:

• Bring food she can feed to the rest of the family.
• Find out what foods she can eat and prepare/buy those foods to bring.  This could include getting some hard-to-find ingredients from your friend.
• Prepare food at her house.  It's still a good idea to check about ingredients and recipes.  At my house you can find foods and ingredients that I don't actually eat but use to feed the rest of the family.
• Get groceries for her.  Considering the special diet issue it's really important to get a list and stick to it exactly.  If the 16 oz package of the store brand is specified but the 32 oz pack of the national brand is on a great sale it's probably best to ignore it and get what's on the list.
• Clean her kitchen for her so that she has an easier time cooking.  In spite of my vigorous defense of us moms who don't keep shiny houses a clean kitchen is such a relief and blessing to me.  Sometimes when I have one I just go out to eat rather than messing it up!  But it also gives me a chance to make that extra batch of muffins or comforting pot of soup I've been thinking of.

Kids

One of my biggest insecurities as a MWCI is my fear that my kids will miss out because of my illness.  So anything that a friend does to help them has the double blessing of giving me a break and setting my mind at ease because I know they are having a fuller life than I can give them on my own.  Basically, anything you do for my kids, you do for me.  Here are some of the ways others have been able to help me:

• Play dates.  I love these.  Sometimes I go along or the other mom comes to my house.  Then we get to visit and I love that because I can only handle so many conversations about cars and using the potty before I need to have an adult conversation.  Other times my son has been able to go without me and then I can take a break or get something else done.  Occasionally I've been able to have one of his friends over and then he gets the fun of a playmate without us having to leave the house.  (Unfortunately, because of my messy house situation I really only feel comfortable hosting play dates in the summer when we can spend time on our shady back deck.)
• Outings.  Like play dates, only not at home.  This includes going to a park, the mall, the library, a museum, the zoo.  I like to go to places I'm not really comfortable at with another mom (or friend) because sometimes I get overwhelmed and it helps to have another set of ears and eyes.  It's also fun for my kids and a big help to me when they are invited along on an outing without me.  (OK, only the oldest has done this so far.)  Some friends have even hung out with my little one for the sole purpose of giving me a break.  Such a blessing.

Odds and Ends
I feel like I'm missing something major here, but I can think of a few seemingly small ways that friends have really blessed me.  These include:

• Helping with driving when I had doctor's appointments.
• Picking up special orders at stores that weren't near my house.
• Helping with laundry.
• Doing errands like taking recycling to the center.

So again, each MWCI is going to have a different situation and need or want help in different ways.  Communication is key.  Hopefully these ideas can help get a conversation going that will allow blessings to flow.

What I Learned When I Went Dairy Free While Breast Feeding

All over the map, right?  That's me.  Here's another topic that I know just a little bit about.  So naturally I'll use the internet to tell the world.

The story is that when Linus was about six weeks old he was sleeping very poorly and I was extremely exhausted and miserable.  Whenever a tiny baby who's breastfed is also very gassy (which seemed to be related to the bad sleeping) people always seem to point out that it could be dairy.  This happened with Lenny also, but I didn't try cutting it out because I have lots of food intolerances.  I already can't eat wheat, corn, soy, most red meat, lots of different nuts.... I'm probably leaving something out.  Also, I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome, so changing my diet can end up making me pretty uncomfortable.  Plus there's not wanting to eat too many gassy foods like beans for fear they'll make the baby more gassy.  Too complicated.

But with Linus I finally got desperate enough to try it.  I planned ahead.  I decided on some substitutions and went to the grocery store.  I spent a day cooking dishes for the coming week.  That went pretty well, actually.

 I use spelt instead of wheat flour.  I substituted coconut milk for cow's milk in these orange muffins.  I actually zested an orange when I made them.  They tasted awesome, especially straight from the oven.

 When I can't make a creamy dairy-based sauce I have a tendency to make a tomato-based one.  I started using ground chicken during this time and found it very convenient.

 I made this to put in wraps for lunches.  It has black-eyed peas in it which are high in....calcium, I think.

Here's a view you don't get on Pinterest.  After all the cooking there was some cleaning up to be done.
















So I managed to go dairy-free and actually get enough to eat.  And I learned a few things that were useful to me.  Here they are in case they are useful to you:

• Coconut milk based dairy substitute doesn't taste that good by itself.  But it's OK if mixed about half and half with orange juice (get the fortified OJ so you're getting more calcium and vitamin D).  It's also not bad with a little cocoa mixed in and warmed in the microwave to make "hot chocolate."
• Orange juice isn't so bad if you get the expensive "not from concentrate" stuff.  And it generally helps me feel better when I'm feeling depleted from breast feeding.
• Having some food cooked ahead of time made my life much easier - and I ate better.  Although since then I have found that having that knowledge is often not enough to get me to actually do the cooking.
• It's possible to get chocolate chips that are free from all the stuff I'm trying to avoid.  Worth it when options are very limited.
• Sometimes it worked better to eat food that was "safe" for me and let the boys eat something else.  This is not new to us, but it happened a little more often during the dairy free time.
• Doing searches online for "dairy free" wasn't that useful.  Mostly it came up with recipes that were also free of gluten and were possibly even vegan.  I found it easy enough in baking to substitute coconut or rice milk for cow's milk.  
• For main dish foods it was most useful to think of "normal" foods that could be made without dairy - soups, stews, stir fry, curry, and even some pasta dishes were pretty flexible.  Thankfully the wisdom of "crowd sourcing" also stepped in as I got help from friends on Facebook.
• Bacon!  Thankfully I can eat this and since I needed to keep some fat in my diet.... Also I ate more chicken than usual and some legumes to keep my protein up.
• Unfortunately I also found out that diary was not the source of Linus's problems.  It took a long time to figure this out because when I started eating it again he had a different problem which seemed possibly to be related and I went off it again.  Related to this, if you are breastfeeding and stop dairy then start it again you may experience changes in milk supply.  I had to start more gradually the second time to avoid problems.

So now I'm back to my regular diet - more or less.  I'm still drinking lots of that expensive orange juice and eating more bacon than I was before.  And I try to do some cooking ahead - when I'm not too tired or too busy blogging.