I Don't Always Have Superpowers

I said I would write about Disney princesses and feminism but I'm typing with one hand while holding the baby.  I'd rather rest while holding a sleeping baby than put him down, wait 20 minutes and then deal with an awake-but-cranky-because-he-didn't-get-enough-sleep baby.  I do this a lot.  I tell myself that it's OK because I need the rest anyway.  I tell myself that other moms do this and some who can't have babies who only take half hour naps and are cranky most of the time.  (I'd provide evidence of this, but my examples come from a "secret" Facebook group and I don't want to violate anyone's privacy.) 

Most of all, I tell myself that I don't need to rationalize or defend my choices because the biggest favor I can do myself is to do what works for our family and try to be comfortable with the results.  

But lets be honest.  Sometimes I don't listen to my own great advice.  Sometimes my plans and efforts work out great and I feel like I have superpowers.  I had this idea, for example, about how to get a hot shower when it was just me and Linus at home.  I don't like to leave him in a room by himself.  I know, people do it, but I'm not people, I'm me, and it makes me uncomfortable.  He tends to cry - either because he's not used to it or because, like Lenny before him, he's shaping up to be a rip-roaring extrovert (heaven help us).

So this is what I did:

Which worked really well until this happened:

Which wasn't the end of the world since his fingers didn't get caught or injured or anything.

And I did get my hot shower while the baby played contentedly.  Hooray for me.

(Exclamation point.  Smiley face.  I'm just not in the mood.)

Pretty much the next thing I did was check in with social media.  Still riding high on my he-doesn't-need-my-full-attention-all-the-time success story I sat the baby on the chair by the computer and turned my back.

 

I probably could have thought that through a little better.  But hey, impromptu sensory play.

I've been reading a lot of blogs and I see it all the time on "mommy blogs."  We swing between hopefully making lists of suggestions for how to handle this crazy life a little better and admissions that it's often all we can do to keep the wheels from flying off as we drive down the highway at a gazillion miles an hour.  Some days we are ready to take over the world, reorganize our kitchen cabinets and teach our kids to clean their own rooms.  Other times we just hope we can find enough chocolate caffeine or alcohol to keep us from finally indulging in that fifteen minute scream fest that's been lurking at the tip of our brains for the last three days.

I don't have any great solution.  I don't know how to make the pendulum stop swinging at some nicely balanced taking-the-kids-to-play-at-the-park-and-not-worrying-if-I-feed-them-frozen-pizza point.  I'm just wanting to remind myself that I don't always have superpowers and I don't have to.  I'll just grab some chocolate as I head out the door get pick Lenny up from school and hope that I manage to wing it one more time.